How to Rightly Love Ourselves: Learning to Love Our Neighbors as Ourselves (part 12)
What we love, when we say we love God, must include we ourselves, our lives, and all that we are. For God has made us, and He has made us His own. And God has loved us, and so we are made lovely. And God has worked our lives and our redemption, and His work continues.
We only actually love ourselves, truly and properly, when we love ourselves in this way:
First, as being from God—all that we are and our entire lives.
Second, as being loved by God—we love, then, what The Righteous One loves.
Third, as being for God’s glory—our story for His glory.*
We must understand ourselves as being from God, with God, and for God. Then we may love ourselves truly, rightly, and well.
To be specific, How do we love ourselves properly?
How do we love ourselves in the way Jesus intended when He said, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself”? How do we love ourselves in a way that is a replicable guide for loving others?
First, we love ourselves rightly by being grateful.
When’s the last time you gave thanks for your life? Gave thanks for what and who you are? Gave thanks for your story?
These can be challenging areas to reflect upon. But see how they flow from our understanding of what we love when we love God?
If we are grateful for the works of God, then we must learn to be grateful for His work in our lives and our story. If we are grateful for what God has made, we must learn to be grateful for how He has made us.
“Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Col 3:20) Does “everything” mean every thing? Does “always” mean every time?
Second, we love ourselves rightly when we submit to the redeeming work of God.
We’re not in this by ourselves. We know that God is at work in us and in our lives. So it is an act of “self-love” to submit ourselves to the Spirit of God.
We may not know why we are the way we are… but He does. We may not know why our lives have been this way… but He does.
“He has purposes unnumbered // each one good and glorious…” (“Christ Our Wisdom”)
His purposes include us, our lives, and our stories.
“You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.” (1Cor 6:19b-20a)
What we are—fully and truly—God knows. And we are His. And He will redeem us, for His glory.
Third, we love ourselves righty by appreciating what we are and our lives.
This will not come first. This will come third.
It is only after we see the Spirit working through us, redeeming what we are and our lives, that we’ll begin to appreciate ourselves. We can accept what we are, but to appreciate what we are we need to begin to see the value we have. And our value is from Him, in Him, and for Him. Our value is what He has made us, and what He is making us to be.
“If anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation. The old has passed away, Behold! the new has come.” (2Cor 5:17)
What is the new that has come? It is what we always were, made new, in Christ. Redemption is making a new thing out of an old thing, making a new life out of an old life, telling a new story out of an old story. The dots connect. All things work together.
"Let the bones You have broken rejoice." (Psa 51:8)
Fourth, we love ourselves rightly by enjoying God—worship—and our relationships—loving obedience.
God desires to bless us by drawing us into His love. Therefore, we will bless ourselves best as we receive the blessing He wants to give us. That is, we bless ourselves best as we obey Him, follow Him, and receive Him and His blessings.
Worship is the best self-care. Obedience is the best self-love.
No one can love or care for themselves better than God loves and cares for them. Only those who “seek His face” and “walk with Him” really know where the good stuff is.
Summary:
How do we love ourselves, in connection with God? By gratitude for our selves, by submitting our selves to God’s redeeming work, by appreciating His “good work in you” (Phil 1:6), and by stepping deeper into worship and obedience.
(Next week, we’ll look at one final feature of “biblical self-care” before turning, with Jesus, to apply this to how we love our “neighbors.”)
PRAYER [from Psalm 139]
O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You are with me when I go to sleep, and still there when I wake up. You know me so well—You know what I'm thinking just by looking at me. You watch over my day and my night and every time in between. You know my thoughts, my heart, and all that happens within me. You were with me then and You'll still be with me even if; You're with me even now.
It's hard for me to wrap my mind around the whole of my life, to begin to grasp Your love for me. Even when I've been at my lowest, You were there. Even when I was at my highest, You were there. When I was at my furthest from You, You were with me. You were watching over me. I am Yours. Even in my darkest moments, when nothing was good and there was no hope, You are there.
From before I was born, and every step since, You've been working on me. You know the story of my life, what has been, what is, and what will be.
The extent to which I am Yours, and what this truth means, is hard for me to accept. Harder to still to appreciate. Harder still to rejoice in. Help me, LORD. Be with Your child still. Help me to know this in my soul. For healing. For peace. For hope. In Jesus' Name.
Notes:
*(Rhymes = True?)
Photo by Niklas Ohlrogge (niamoh.de) on Unsplash