The Practices of Loving God in Our Own Life: Learning to Love Our Neighbors as Ourselves (part 13)
When Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves, He intends for us to love ourselves in a way that is holy, right, and good.
First, we need a new perspective on who and what we are. This is what we have been building over these last twelve devotionals. We love ourselves properly when we see ourselves and our lives as something to be grateful for, something God is at work in and through, something that has value because of His grace, and something that experiences God’s goodness. For we were made by God, we live with God, we live in God, and we exist for His glory.
Love always begins with a new perspective.
But love continues and grows through new practices. When Jesus tells us to love our neighbor, He isn’t saying only to think loving things about them—He means for us to direct loving actions toward them. The same must also be true for how we “love ourselves.”
How do we direct properly loving actions toward ourselves? What is “biblical self-care”?
This is important to consider, for this will map onto our relationships with others. “As you love yourself,” means, the way we ought properly to care for and attend to our needs, as those who belong to God, will be what we ought to do for others, who also belong to Him.
Again, using the immediate context of Jesus’ statements in Mark 12:30-31, we see this means that we ought to steward our hearts, souls, minds, and strength in such a way that they overflow in love for God. “Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength,” Jesus says. So we need to think about how we do this.
How do we care for our hearts, souls, minds, and strength so that they overflow with love toward God?
First, do no harm. (Or, try to do less harm.)
Cultivating a biblical perspective on our selves and our lives is critical for living this out—our practices will flow from our perspective.
So let us stop judging and condemning ourselves, calling ourselves names, belittling ourselves. Stop saying, This is good about me and this is bad about me… My mind is too slow or too odd… My heart is too weak or too broken… My soul is too big or too small… My strength is too much or not enough.
Stop speaking about yourself as if you were not Created, as if your life were not a gift, as if God has not been, and still is, at work in your life for His glory and for the good of the world.
Someone (I can never recall who) wrote that sin always tries to make our various failures seem persistent, personal, and predictive.
So let’s say the dishes have piled up. Is this a sin? No. But maybe it makes you feel bad about yourself. You say, in your heart, “Why do I let this happen?” Then sin makes it persistent, “Why do I always let stuff like this happen?” Then it makes it personal, “This is the sort of person I am, I guess.” And then, predictive, “This is what I’ll always be—I’ll never be able to change this about myself, so why even try.”
You’ll never see a garden thriving, which the owner hates to be in.
To enjoy the grace of God we must accept that we and our lives are His, from Him, with Him, in His grace, and for His glory.
Second, try to enjoy things, for the glory of God.
“The chief end of man,” the old Catechism says, “is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” God’s glory and our enjoyment of the life He’s given us, the world He’s made, and the operations of His will, are deeply connected.
So try to enjoy the one, precious life God has given you in the one beautiful world He has made. Enjoy life. Enjoy what is from Him. Enjoy what He enjoys. Enjoy things for His glory.
“Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1Cor 10:31)
“Then God saw everything that He had made, and Behold! it was very good.” (Gen 1:31)
“Everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected, if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.” (1Tim 4:4-5)
What makes your heart come alive to the goodness of God?
For me, I think of great stories, redemptive tales, tear-jerkers. And connection: game night, long hikes, caring for a loved one who is sick. It’s laughing and good humor, seeing things upside down. It’s looking at old pictures; it’s day-dreaming.
What makes your soul come alive with love for God?
For me, it's nature, vistas, overlooks, and small brooks and hidden lakes. Art museums and live bands, playing music and singing together. It’s being still and silent and hungry. And loud parties and good food. It’s saying, No, sometimes when I think I want to say, Yes.
What makes your mind come alive to the wisdom of God?
For me, strange and wonderful facts about the world, animals and creation. And math games and well-explained technologies. It’s getting to the root of problems, tackling challenges, making plans. It’s learning new things, trying new things. It’s poetry and puzzles.
What makes your strength come alive in joy with God?
For me, it’s walking, playing sports. It’s disciplines, time-limits, contests. It’s saying, Yes, when I think I want to say, No. It’s checking boxes on my to-do list. It’s keeping going. It’s being inspired, and creating and composing something new.
What is it for you?
We’re all responsible for what God has given us, to make an appropriate return. The first thing God gave us is our life and all that we are. One way to outline what we are is, Heart Soul Mind and Strength.
If we don’t love these things about ourselves properly—from God, with God, in God, for God—we are not stewarding His gifts well. And we will not, therefore, know how to love others.
PRAYER
Lord God, You have made us and we are Your own. We are not our own for we were bought with a price. So we want to glorify You in our bodies, and in our minds, hearts, and souls.
We confess that we struggle valuing properly what You value, including the stewarding of our lives and what we are. We see the way the world exaggerates “self-care,” turning it into narcissistic self-indulgence—the opposite of the faithful and obedient ways You call us to appreciate our lives, and then lay them down for others, for Your glory.
Keep us from the self-obsessed culture of self-scrutiny in pursuit of righteousness by works. Keep us from being made to feel worthless because we’re not… whatever we aren’t. But also, keep us from disappearing into the mindless, soulless, heartless, sloth and despair our world wants to numb us into.
Keep us Yours. Help us to remember we are. Help us to love this life You’ve given us, and to enjoy, for Your sake, the heart, soul, mind, and strength we have by Your wisdom and grace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash